तिमी र म

धन्नै गरिएको थियो भ्रुणमै हत्या
तिम्रो जन्म  वाहवाही,
म जन्मदां , लौ नानी भएछ ज्या ।

तिमी हांसे 'वाह क्या सेन्स अफ ह्युमर'
म हाँसे, उत्ताउलीको रिउमर ।
जवाफ दिये मुखाले ।
बाहिर हिँडे छाडा
आदेश छ कडा, नजानु टाढा ।

जे भन्यो त्यही माने असल र जाती ।
नाइ भने तेजाब म  माथि ।

जती पढे नि, जागिर गरे नि ।
बस्तुसरी तौलने,
नपुगे दाईजो,
होमिदिने आगो ।


तिम्रो काम, तेस्पछी आरामै आराम ।
मेरो काम,
घर, परिवार, स्याहार
अनी तिम्रो फर्मान ।

अन्त्यमा म भुइमान्छे,
तिमी पो मानब, महामनाब ।

भोजको फरक स्वाद

सबै जनाको सोख फरक फरक हुन्छ । कोही ठाटिएर भोज खान जानुको लागि मरिहत्ते गर्छन । कोही भने मरिगये भोज खान जान मान्दैनन । 

सानो बेला कतै भोज खान जान मलाई एकदम दिक्क लाग्थ्यो । त्यो बेला गुन्द्रीमा अथवा चौरमा बसेर खान खान पर्थ्यो । मलाई भोजको स्वाद भन्दा नि खुल्ला चौरमा टुक्रुक्क बसेर खाना खानु एकदमै झन्झटिलो जस्तो लाग्थ्यो । त्यो बेला हाम्रो गाउ तिरको भोजमा बन्दाको तरकारी, फर्सीको तरकारी, मुलाको अचार हुन्थ्यो, प्राय सबै भोजमा । मलाई फर्सी र बन्दा खासै मन पर्दैनथ्यो । तेसैले किन मरिहत्ते गर्ने होलान भुइमा बसेर फर्सिको तरकारी खान? जस्तो लाग्थ्यो । आजकाल फर्सी, मुला अनी बन्दा स्वास्थ्यको लागि कती लाभदायी छन भन्ने थाहा भयो, यि सबै तरकारी मिठो लाग्छ । अनी निस्फिक्री चौरमा बसेर सानो तिनो गेट टुगेदर गर्दा कस्तो आनन्द लाग्छ । सबै कुराको समय हुन्छ भनेको पनि ठिकै होला । 

मेरो दाई भन्नुन्हुन्छ, 'थाहा छैन किन, मलाई ठुलो ठुलो रिसेप्सन पार्टीमा गएर भोज खान भन्दा घरमा मन्सुली चामल र मुसुरोको दालको झोल खान नै मनपर्छ' । 

दाइलाई 'किन एस्तो' भनेर प्रश्न गर्छौ र भोजमा जानुको फाईदाको फेहरिस्त सुनाउन प्रयास गर्छौ । 

दाईको जवाफ भने एकदम सिधा हुन्छ । मलाई एक त यो औपचारिक लुगा लगाएर जानु नै सजिलो लाग्दैन । अनी अर्को चै भोजमा त मलाई 'बिशेष' केही लाग्दैन । अनेक थरी खाना एउटै प्लेटमा हाल्यो । मन पर्ने कुराको स्वाद पनि मिसमास भएर झनै बेस्वाद जस्तो पो हुन्छ । अनी फेरी भएसम्मको राम्रो, महँगो लुगा अझै जुत्ता पनि कसेर गयो । धेरै जस्तो भोजमा बस्ने ठाउँ हुँदैन । बस्ने ठाउँ भये फेरी टेबल हुँदैन। टेबल र कुर्सी दुबै हुने भोज त एकदम दुर्लभ नै हुन्छन भन्दा नि हुन्छ । अनी भोज गयो । उभिएर खाना खायो । लुगा (शुटमा) खाना चुहिएला कि भन्यो । जुत्ता कसैले कुचिदेला कि पनि भन्यो । कहिलेकाही त पानीको गिलास अर्कोले पोखिदेला कि भन्ने हुन्छ । यि सबै तनाबको माझमा खाएको खानाको के स्वाद हुन्छ ? 

बरु घरमा आफ्नै ढंगले पलेटी कसेर खाना खान बेग्लै आनन्द आउछ । 

सोचेर ल्याउदा दाइको कुरामा नि दम छ जस्तो लाग्छ ।  

Of Shocks and Aftershocks

I realized my head was spinning. I again felt the surface beneath me was shaking. I tried to standstill but could not stand properly. I was trying to catch up the tap but it did not provide support to me. I again took help of two walls but it appeared they were also moving. Then suddenly I heard sharp rattling sounds. I felt if it was helicopter near my house. I was taking note of every possible reason on why I was feeling so. I felt I was feeling completely different but I was not sure on what it was. Despite assuming every possible things, I did not assume it as earthquake. I continued to take shower and suddenly my mom shouted out. 'Are you alright?

'hmm Ya..' I was not feeling alright.. 

'Yes.. hmm.. But..I am not feeling good Mom..'

'Did not you realize such a big earthquake.. How can you not realize earthquake.. It was a big one..Are you fine?'

The surface beneath me started shaking again. I realized the walls were moving again, but in real that was not the case.   

'No, I felt I was not feeling well. I felt it was me having some kind of difficulty.'

I landed in the real world now only and the reality was a shock for me. I did not even realize that what appeared like head-spinning was a massive Earthquake in real. I took shower and went out of home. Till then, everyone in our locality were outside home. Some of them were surprised to see me inside while some of them were still with shocking experience. I realized that when everyone was rushing out of home to find 'safe' place, I was trying to find possible reason that made the surface beneath moving. I recalled on how I had made every possible speculation from too much hustle-bustle, not eating properly, directly diving to shower from travel and etc. 

Then the 'communication series' began. Call was not connecting so I swapped into text. The senders were different and the recipients were different but the content was same. 

'Are you safe? Is your family safe? It was such a  big one. Take care' and blah blah...

On next round, I was trying to reach to more of my colleagues and they were also trying to reach more. Then the updates were changing. I have been able to connect with this and this but not with that one .. 


After a while, there was another tremor again. Aftershock was powerful enough to remind others the first one, while It was the first one I recognized that day as earthquake. I was trying to reach to my relatives, friends and colleagues but no call was connecting. Suddenly a kid in our locality got faint. She stood strong in the first quake but could not be brave in the second one. She was rushed to hospital. Her aunt shared later on how many journalists caught them before they could reach to 'emergency ward'. She was discharged the same day. 

We had family function on Saturday and I had rushed home to attend the function scheduled at 12:00 but the earthquake (7.8) hit us at 11:56 AM [25 April, 2016]. Guests were caught in between travel but they managed to reach safe. Indoor venue was again changed to outdoor venue and the function kept going. During the function, I was trying to capture the moments. Camera was capturing faces. Faces with fear. Faces with frustrations. Still and reluctant faces. Function moved on but the momentum of participant was different than expected. Guests returned home. 


Mom was reaching to many relatives and getting updates. Her Ncell had been of real use. My brother who never bothered to call home [From India] had called in such a worrying tone. We had no electricity. Dad could not locate his radio and as rushing to shops to find one but all in vain. Though he found his radio, that was not working. Thanks to our neighbor who mended it using his local technology and tricks. Battery was sinking in cell. I got call from Friends but the news was quite unpleasant. My friend's home was badly affected from earthquake. Our friends had made quick plans to leave early on Sunday. 

Another call was from my boss regarding situation reporting and emergency meeting. Throughout the night, We were listening Radio. Big FM was broadcasting throughout the night. Victims were sharing their stories. I could not stop my tears when a 65 year old lady from Lekhnath shared on how her 12 year granddaughter saved her toddler brother by bringing him out of broken home. 

At 3;00 mom was sharing status of our locality. It took me no while to figure out it was a wrong number. It was call from abroad. He wanted to call #Chapakot (Part of Syangja district but quite far from our place). Though it was not for my mom he called, but he wanted some updates. Mom was also providing updates. So, I realized it was situations somehow guided our behaviours as well. During the times of pain, we tend to feel comfortable even with strangers. 

------

Next day, early Sunday morning, I was rushing to catch-up Emergency meeting at Pokhara scheduled at 9:00 AM.

I reached Pokhara at 8:00 itself, found some time to explore a Radio. I was quite surprised to see my room. It was just the way I had left. To my utter surprise, everything looked perfect. 

Following the discussions, we divided our works among team. I moved to District Development Committee's Meeting [District Disaster Relief Committee's coordination meeting with NGOs] along with 4 colleagues and Baral Sir. There were almost 45 participants and almost 20 were speaking at a go.

It was around 11:55. A person took his turn and told, 'May be we better have this meeting at our ground, there are predictions that there could be next tremor soon close to 12:00'. 

Again there were 10-15 people shouting on him. 

'There is no science to predict earthquake.'

'Had you this prediction knowledge, why did not you tell yesterday'

'You better stay silent'.. 

The response kept coming. Then the meeting continued in the regular mode. It was almost at end but we were already worrying to complete our different assignments. We decided to leave one by one. EB Chair was left. After a while, there was a big tremor (6.7 magnitude at 12:54) again. It was almost as powerful as second tremor of Saturday. We could see many people coming outside rushing outside. I tried to scan the whole crowd, but could not locate Baral Sir. The aftershock was still by then and I went inside DDC Meeting Hall, there was no one. I shouted 'Baral Sir, are you around?'

There was no response. I  returned to the ground again and tried to go through the faces. Baral Sir was there among crowd with calm and smiling face. We returned to office and continued to get updates of staffs and their family. 

My Cell balance in both Prepaid and Postpaid was zero as I had sent numerous texts. System was not accepting regular recharge cards, even I visited NTC's booth and bought their machine charging system. It did not work. NTC provided facility to allow calls even for those numbers who did not had balance. Again it had restrictions on length of call. It seemed justified so as to make conversations succinct and efficient. I tried to reach out friends who had been Nuwakot. Call was not reachable and with my zero balance, even the text facility was not available. My friend (Originally from Nuwakot who is now abroad) called me. There were few words and more silence in our conversation. He was worried about his home and friends who traveled his home despite terrible tremors (aftershocks). He was talking with heavy heart. We hanged out with the hope that our friends would return safe. 

------

My friends reportedly returned the same night. They shared their Nuwakot experience next day. Their sharing was no less than a major aftershock. I continued to work and get updates. While being with colleagues and friends, I found myself quite strong. But whenever I was alone, something used to haunt me from deep inside. So I had moved into Sister's place on Sunday itself. Her 6 year old son was seen asking in every 2-3 hours, 'Mom, why are not we shaking again'?

He continued, 'If there comes next aftershock, I will rush with my schoolbag. Otherwise I wont' be able to complete my homework.'

His mom responded 'Ok'. 

He also asked me, 'Is your home at village also dismantled?'

I responded, 'No, my home is fine'.

------

Every kid had seen the devastation through the Television. At times he look worried while at times he looked happy to find a big bag full of junk foods. 

We again lost connection with some staff (3 Staff who were on the way back from Tatopani) who reported that they were safe on Saturday. We were trying to reach them by every possible means. We had many internal shocks and aftershocks till we finally found them through the support our partner at Sindhupalchowk on Tuesday. No words would be enough to describe how you feel when you find your colleagues safe after searching them for 3 days. The main reason of our tension was Kodari. The place from where they reported and the place which was the epicenter of two aftershocks (Sunday) which were as powerful as main earthquakes.  

Again two of our staffs were stranded in Jugu. Every time I talked with them, they tried to remain strong but they ended up sounding hopeless. They had seen many houses being collapsed in front of them. They had seen many households turning into debris. We all tried to keep our communications going on. There were so many emails floating. There was so much hope and so much consolation but in reality everyone was scared at their heart. 

At the footnote, most emails mentioned,

'Stay calm, stay strong, keep updated and stay connected' 

But deep inside we all were feeling fragmented but still trying to have faith. There were so many messages in Facebook inbox. It felt so soothing to find so many friends and relatives who cared. One of my friend from Kirtipur was busy tracking earthquake in Social Media. My other friend who just made it to Nepal (1 week ago) shared on she felt if it was for earthquake that she returned home. 

------

Every misfortunes has some fortunate things with it. Had this devastation been in midnight, or on work days, then what? 

We would have lost more lives and obviously there would have been more injuries. As there are more male members who are working as immigrant workers, this earthquake has hit lots of families including many female headed families with dependent children. Families will now need to struggle even more to get relief (food, shelter and clothes). Government is trying to ensure distribution to all affected ones but its mechanism are not functioning properly. As the relief materials is stored for more than week in district headquarters following the indecisive meetings, thousands of families are looking at the roads and skies with hope. By now, relief should  have been reached to the needy ones and government should have been worked to prepare rehabilitation and rebuilding strategy, but it's yet to reach to the remote villages and make the presence of government felt. Monsoon is approaching, so we can't have much delay to ensure minimum housing to the families who have lost their homes. Otherwise the series of devastation will be much bigger than we all have expected. On another note, having gone through such a massive devastation, earthquake affected ones will need counselling to come out of the trauma and move on. 

#NepalEarthquake2015 has shattered thousands of dreams, hopes and lives. Many personal and public properties including world heritage sites, temples, monasteries, mosques, churches, towers, museums etc..have been damaged. This devastation has made us realize our #emptiness and somehow forced us to fill that emptiness with some #hopes. Yes we are trying to stand and move despite the difficult situations. We are struggling to get the hopes intact and have faith. We have seen people returning safe from the pond of death, we have seen rescuers finding people with fighting spirit in debris. We have learnt to feel #grateful, we have learnt to share, respect and admire what we have received. We have gained #endurance at the cost of many lives and resources.

#RIP to the departed souls. We will never forget you, we have learnt big lessons at the cost of your life and we will never dare to forget you. You all will be remembered always.

8 May 2015

------

My organization LI-BIRD (www.libird.org) took decision to work for relief. We had no funds available. We decided to raise fund internally. We got overwhelming response from staff, members, different individuals and organizations associated with us. The helping hands and supporting spirit is motivating us. While many of my colleagues are busy doing 'relief operations' in many fields, we are coordinating from Head Office Pokhara. So far, we have already conducted relief operations in Tanahu, Gorakha, Dhading in coordination with the District Disaster Relief Committee (DDRC) and Red Cross District Chapter, respective Village Development Committee. Some colleagues are working to conduct relief in Sindhupalchowk and Dolakha. 

उज्यालो कि अन्धकार ?

पृथ्वी गोलो छ,
एकै समयमा
कतै उज्यालो झलमल
त कतै अन्धकार, अलमल ।

उज्यालो खोजे आशा छ ।
अध्यारो खोजे चुनौतीको पहाड छ ।
तिमी नै रोज,
तिमी के लिन्छौ ?

पारीबाट रङिन देखिने द्रिश्य
वारी अैपुग्दा रङहिन देखिन सक्छ ।
तिमीले देखेको त्यो स्वरुप
तिम्रै आँखा अगाडि कायापलट हुन सक्छ ।

शायद, त्यसैले उल्टिने गर्छन्
निर्णयहरु ।
कहिले बिना कारण
कहिले बेजोड तर्क सहीत ।

बिशेष पद

कार्यालयमा लामो समय काम गरेका चालक निल्कन्ठ आफुलाई कार्यालयको सबै भन्दा 'बिशेष' कर्मचारी मान्थे । एक हिसाबले बिशेष थिए पनि । हाकिम, यहाँ सम्मकी हाकिमका सारा शाखा सन्तान रिझाउन भ्याउथे । कार्यालयको कामको शिलशिलामा हाकिमलाई सबै कर्मचारीको कुरा (धेरै जसो नकरात्मक) पुर्याउने र हाकिमको प्रतिकृयामा मरमसाला थपेर कर्मचारीलाई भन्नुमा उनी निपुण नै थिए । हाकिमको अगाडि सार्है 'असल' र अरु कर्मचारीको अगाडि 'हाकिमहरुको काममा अत्यन्तै ब्यस्त' देखिन तल्लिन रहन्थे ।

जागिर बाहेक उनको ब्यक्तिगत 'ब्यापारिक' जिबन पनि फलिफाप भएकै थियो । छोराछोरी राम्रो गरी पढेका थिए, केहीले त रार्मो जागिर समेत् गर्थे । श्रीमतीले घर बसेर ब्यापार गर्थिन, उनी घर नबसेर । कार्यालयका कतिपय काममा पनि 'ब्यापारिक नाफा नोक्सान' मा अांकलन गर्न सिपालु थिए । उनी आफ्नो पदको नाम 'चालक' प्रती हेयभाब राख्थे । आफु जस्तै आफ्नो पद्को नाम पनि बिशेष हुनुपर्ने रायको साथै माग थियो उनको । आँफै टिकाटिप्पणी गर्थे ।

यसै शिल्शिलामा,  कार्यलय भरिमा नै सोझा मध्यमा पर्ने आफ्नो तत्कालिन सुपरिबेक्षकसामु 'लामो समय बिशेष योगदान सहितको काम गरेकोले पदको नाममा फेरबदल होस्' भनी निबेदन दिएका थिए । सुपरिबेक्षकले 'हुन्छ' को भाबमा टाउको हल्लाइदिये । अनी त के थियो र? समकक्षीलाई समाचार उद्घोश गरे उनले,  'संस्थाले आफ्नो लामो योगदानको कदर गर्दै आफ्नो पद्को नाम बदल्दैछ' । कार्यालयका साथीले अगाडि बधाई दिन्थे र पछाडि भन्थे 'बोल्नेको पिठो बिक्छ, नबोल्नेको चामल बिक्दैन' भनेको यस्तै हो ।

केही दिन पछी सुपरिबेक्षकले बोलाँउदा हात माड्दै पुगे उनी ।

बिना भूमिका नै, हात तेर्साये सुपरिबेक्षकले, 'ल दाई बधाई छ यहाँलाई । हजुरको लामो सेवा र संस्थाप्रतिको योगदानलाई कदर गर्दै अाजदेखी यहाँको पद को नाम फेरिएर 'बरिस्ठ चालक' बनाइएको छ । बोल्नको लागि उनिसँग शब्द थिएन, र थिएन सुपरिबेक्षकको कब्जामा रहेको आफ्नो 'मिलायेको हात' तान्ने सामर्थ्य पनि । 

सजिब सपनाहरु

मेरा पनि छन्
केही सजिब सपनाहरु ।

तर पनि, छ डर,
बाढिले बगाउला कि?
पहिरोले खसाउला कि?
हुरिले उडाउला कि?
कसैले उखेलिदेला कि?

अहँँ, कदापी दिनेछैन म
मेरा सपनालाई, बस्तु झै मोल मोलाई
अनी नापतौल गर्नलाई
दिनेछैन म, सपनाको आहुती ।

मेरा सपना नै बन्ने छन्
मेरो लागि शक्ति ।  
मेरा सपना नै बनीरहनेछन्
मेरो लागि शक्ति ।  

Opportunities

Few Years Ago.

BA First Year

First day of class. (I was there on third day only. It was quite different experience to go to public college. It was like maze for me. I was not sure about the roads, the buildings and classes. As it was first day I had allocated around 25 minutes margin before the classes started. It took me full 20 minutes to locate my class. I was completely exhausted by the time I was able to find my class.)

First period was just over. Suddenly everyone started moving out like crowds. Everyone was rushing as if there was disaster. I could not locate, what went wrong? Though, I did not leave my seat, I was like pushed by the students who were jumping out of their desks. I learnt later that they were actually rushing to get seat in next classes for next period so that they can learn with better lecturers. That sounds funny. I continued to continue in same space and learn at same class; hmm I was better with good lecturers as I hesitated to rush. I noticed that there were more boys in class than girls.

BA Second Year 

By the time our classes of second year were concluding, I realized boys were disappearing. (Don't worry, it's not magic, they were either queuing up for taking foreign study consultancy services, joined Korean Language classes, trying to find reliable Manpower (they still call it manpower) and had dropped due to some other reasons. 

BA Third Year 

Classes were running faster than ever before. And tuition classes were on full swing. Finding more students in tuition centers than in college was not a surprise. Be that at regular classes or tuition classes, I felt there were more girls in the classes. 

---------------

I finished bachelor course. Life continued moving, I enrolled into Masters. One day, we were attentively listening lectures from our Lecturer on 'Feminism'.

He stated, 'I think we are doing better. On Masters Classes, there are less boys and more girls, not just girls but lot of married women as well. So, people are no more hesitating to send girls to school/college, in fact they are sending their daughter in laws to College. Well, this is amazing."

Why should anyone stop just being married? Why Masters classes can't have more girls?

I tried to understand what notion did his statements carried in depth. Somehow I realized our lecturer's connotation was in positive tone. He was not complaining on the presence of more girl students, but was happy that more women have access to higher studies. He left in a while. I felt quite happy; in fact I felt like celebrating girl's power and treat ourselves as we could made up-to Masters. I took a while to have a look at time. As I noticed last class had went on for extra 10 minutes. I waved my friends on my bench and rushed to catch bus so that i could reach office in time.

Soon, I was busy settling lot of papers at my desk and mails at my inbox. By afternoon, I was trying to prepare a cup of Coffee Office lobby. I could hear two of my colleagues (Bhim and Arogya) giggling out loud. Till the time I had creamy Coffee ready, I was quite upset to overhear the conversation.

My ethics told me not to join the colleagues' conversation, whereas my inner heart suggested me that I need to intrude in between these gossips. I decided to join. Arogya was continuing to listen remaining in his revolving chair and was bit careful and his wide giggling face somehow compressed when I joined them with a cup in my hand. He opened his specs and wiped it with the pink fabric. Bhim was standing and speaking while leaning on working table.

Bhim tried to conclude, 'So, this is the reason that we should have no womens. No additional women staffs on our section for the time being'.

I tried to remain at ease and asked politely, 'May I know the reason why women staff should be strictly not recruited in your section? Ah.. Let me correct, our section.

We are in same section right, Admin and Finance?'

'I am fine with women staffs working in Admin. But for Finance, no way.'

'Can you elaborate this further, Bhim Sir?'

'See Sima Miss, we have to work after office hour as well. We need to rush to banks and tax offices. We may need to work till late evening; we may need to work on weekend and holidays as well?

'Oh, I see. Are these all reasons sufficient or you have more?'

'Ah.. Women staffs can't work like donkeys as male staffs do?'

'Are you going to recruit donkeys to carry loads or human resources?'

'Of course, we are hiring human resources'.

I responded, 'Well, I am aware that nature of our work demands extra hour works often and out of office movement as well. But women staff can easily do all these if we provided enough support. We just need to be cooperative'.

'I am not here to cooperate with women staffs. Simply, they will work less than me and I will have additional jobs. I will not simply allow my boss to recruit women staffs.'

I was feeling quite uncomfortable by then. Yet I did not give up. 'Do you think some of my assignments has been incomplete just because I am Woman'?

'No'.

'Do you think my quality of work have been degraded because I am Woman'?

'No'.

'Do you think the performance at my current position would have been better had there been man doing this job'?

'No'.

'Why it is so?'

'You are doing good job. I think good enough. I think you are doing exemplary work.'

'Then why have you problems if we hire women staff in our section?'

'Because women can't work as men do in Office'?

Gosh.. I was annoyed by his statements. Yet, ensuring enabling work environment was one of my primary task. So I could not let him go with his 'Anti women thinking for his section'.

'You have been working with Ms. Neelam for couple of years, do you have any instance she could not complete her work because she was woman'.

'No, never. In fact there is no single room of defect in her work. She can easily handle multiple tasks. In some situations, while dealing with service providers, though I am not dealing with them directly, I am quite irritated. I feel like slapping service providers for all stupid demands. But she handles them with much comfort.'

'Do you feel you could have done job better had you been doing the functions/roles which Ms. Neelam is doing right now.'

'No. She is more than perfect for her job. She is role-model'.

I now knew how I can convince him.

'See, you yourself are telling that women staff in our section is doing their jobs perfectly. No work has been hampered just because they are women.'

'But both staffs you referred are good ones including you.'

'If you have already two women staffs who are doing excellent jobs right at your section, you can't deny that upon hiring another women staff she could do even more excellent jobs. Please don't just negate on women's ability to work. Together we can create better work environment and work for achievement of organization's goal. We are working for gender equity and social inclusion in our Programmes. This is not achieved without having diverse workforce.'

His face was not as stiff and his eyes somehow told he was curious to listen. I realized somehow it's the best time to convince him.

I continued, 'Diverse staff means getting diverse ideas as well. Not only this, this is like having more innovations and learning from different culture as well. When we are diverse then we can better connect with our diverse impact groups. We always tell our impact groups on social justice and inclusion. They will believe and follow us if only we have diverse workforce. That's living up to what we say. Our work can be easily done by women staff, we should not have such biases, otherwise, we will never have enabling work environment'.

'Hmm. I think I know the notion why everyone else tells we should have diverse staffs. I just knew the real reason. I am happy to work from whichever background s/he comes.'

I took deep breathe. My eyes rested on my colleague sitting on chair who was gazing.

'Are you Ok?', I asked to Arogya.

He responded with wide smile.

'I feel like enlightened. I should thank him for questions and you for the responses. I am convinced fully and will convince whoever has questions on inclusion and diversity'.

I was happier than ever. I believed at least these two friends can now convince others as well.

We hired women staff in Finance Section. She is continuing to perform excellent job and all of her colleagues including Bhim are providing her ample cooperation.

------------

I have friend who have been teaching in same Private institutions for long time. Not only this, they have been teaching for same level throughout their service period. As I ask them on why it is so, they simply answer "being women, our School Management thinks we can't control students as Men do. I keep on arguing with them, yet, none of my friend attempted to convince School Management. Some of my friends have completed Masters Degree. They have rich knowledge yet they are limited to their primary level still from where their career started. At times, I feel I may be trying to tickle in their problems when I ask them if they were able to go beyond their assignments and stop myself from asking question.

------------

'Have you ever been denied from some opportunities just because you are women?

This was the question put forth by me to women applicants during job interview. Somehow I felt like restless to hear the response of interviewee. I somehow felt like while asking that particular question, I felt like nervous. Don't know if someone noticed me or not.

The responses were quite different. Some were never denied, some were often and some were denied for few times. Some were denied at home, some at school, some at college, and some at work-space. While some were denied to eat what they wanted, some were denied to dress on the way they intended, some were denied to have friends as they wished, some were denied to visit places they wanted, some were denied to study what they wanted, some were denied to work where they wanted, some were not offered job just because they were women.

Yet these are lucky girls who could at least make up-to here. Several should have dropped their wish and let it go. Some would have struggled and continued and some would have felt tired of struggling and just let go the things in the manner they go simply. The selection process was over, the results were amazing. The selected list had diverse, competent, committed and confident perspective staffs. We were happy to receive young professionals including women staff committed to do best in job with firm decision to work in some of most remote districts.

As the new staffs joined duty, we had brief introduction and welcome programme at Office Meeting Hall. After returning from welcome programme, I was working to finalize presentation for orientation for the recently hired colleagues, Bhim was there. As I asked him if he wanted any help from me.

He responded, 'You had briefed me on the importance of diverse work force. Seeing these young professionals and their commitments to work I am feeling delighted. I was like surprised to see on how they introduced themselves on such different and meaningful way. I feel it will be great to work with diverse people and learn from their experience and background.

I was more than happy to see complete transformation in him.  

Yes, more opportunities to work with diverse people and learn from diverse ideas. 

म, पुस्तक र कथा

जब जब थाकेर कोठामा आउँछु, मेरो स्वागतमा रहन्छन् चाङका चाङ पुस्तक । यिनै चाङका चाङ पुस्तकले त रोक्छन् मलाई कोठा सर्नलाई पनि । कति पटक यो पाली त जसरी र्सछु भनेर ठान्छु, फेरी पुस्तकका चाङले छेकीदिन्छन् बाटो । यो महिना अब केही किन्दीन भन्छु, अनि पुस्तक पसल अगाडी पुग्ने वित्तीकै चुम्बकसरी तानिन्छु म । अनि सोच्छु, हेरौँ न, अनि फेरी एउटा त लिउँ न, अनि फेरी अर्को हेर्दा यो त संग्रहणीय पुस्तक पो रहेछ भन्यो अनि थपिन्छन् चाङमा केहि थान पुस्तक । कसरी म कोर्सवाहिरका पुस्तकमा यतिसाह्रो आकर्षित भएँ भनेर म अचम्म पर्छु । पढाईमा मध्यमभन्दा माथि नै रहे पनि कोर्सका किताब मेरो प्राथमिकतामा कहिले परेनन् । वा भनौँ, कक्षा लिएकै भरमा नै पार गरेँ कति तह । कोर्स पढ्नमा धेरै समय नखर्चे पनि किताब जम्मा पार्न भने म अगाडी नै आउँथे । मेरा मिल्ने साथीहरु जाँचको अघिल्लो दिनमा पुस्तकपसल गएर “थोरै पानाको सबैभन्दा स्लीम पुस्तक” को माग गर्दा मसँग भने लगभग सबै प्रकाशनगृृहबाट प्रकाशित कोर्ससामाग्री स्रग्रहीत हुन्थेँ, पढ्ने बेला ति मध्ये सबै कोर्सका पुस्तकले पालो भने पाउँदैनथे । 

जुनसुकै उमेरसमुहका व्यक्तिलाई उपहार दिँदा पहिलो पटक मेरो दिमागमा पुस्तक आउँछ । अनि त्यो व्यक्तिको पुस्तक प्रतिको अभिरुची, आवश्यकता र महत्व जस्ता आधारमा लेखाजोखा गरेपछि पुस्तक नै उपहार दिने वा नदिने बल्ल र्निक्यौल गर्छु । पुस्तक उपहार दिन उचीत लागुन्जेल अरु कुनै चिजलाई उपहारको रुपमा मेरो मनले स्वीर्कादैन । पछिल्लो पटक मैले पनि धेरै साथिहरुबाट पुस्तक उपहार पाउने गरेको छु ।  “पढौँ र ज्ञान बाँडौँ” को नारासहित पठन संस्कृतिको विकासमा लागि परेको ¥यान्डम रिर्डससगँको आवद्धताले त झन पुस्तकमोहमा घिउमा आगो थपेको सरह भएको छ । मलाई थाहा छैन, मलाई सवैभन्दा पहिले उपहारमा पुस्तक कसले दिनुभयो ? पक्कै बुबा वा ममिले नै होला । त्यसो त मामाघर जाने भनेवित्तीकै चार वित्ता उफ्रीनु कुनै नौलो कुरा होइन । झनै मामाघरमा हुने कथाका कितावको कारणले म चार वित्ता भन्दा पनि माथि उफ्रिन्थेँ । मामाघर पुगेर सबै जनासगँ सामान्य सन्चोविसन्चोको औपचारीकता पुरा हुनवित्तीकै म मामाको पुस्तकै पुस्तकैले भरिएको कोठामा पुग्थे । गरिमा, मधुपर्क लगायतका साहित्यीक श्रृंखलाको अलावा मामाको पुस्तकको आलमारीमा कथाका पुस्तक प्रशस्त हुन्थे । त्यो बेलासम्म उपन्यासबारे भने म जानकार थिइँन । अनि निदाउनुअघि मामाले सुनाउने कथाको विशेष स्थान थियो । जब म घर फर्किनुपर्ने दिन आउँथ्यो, तब मलाई मामाका आलमारीका पुस्तकहरु देखेर माया लाग्थ्यो, अनि यतिका पुस्तकसँग म किन सँधै रहन नपाउने होला भनेर दुख पनि । म घर आइसके पनि मन भने मामाघरको आलमारीका पुस्तकमा नै हुन्थ्यो ।

स्कुल जाँदा बाटोमा पर्ने ढाकाराम ठुलोबाकोमा पसेर “मुना” पत्रिका आयो भनेर सोध्नु त मेरो दैनिकी नै थियो । उहाँलाई रिस उठेको बेलामा त भन्नुहुन्थ्यो, “मुना मासीक बाल पत्रिका हो, गोरखापत्र वा कान्तीपुर जस्तो दैनिक पत्रिका होइन ।” त्यो भन्दा पछि चैँ रिसले मुरमुरिँदै खै के गुनगुन गर्नुहुन्थ्यो मैले भेउ पाईन । छनछन बज्ने सिक्का र मयल र पसिनाको पुरा एक तह सहितका पुराना नोट सहित ६ रुपैँया जम्मा गरेको पैसाले मुना पत्रिका खरिद गर्दा म आफैँलाई भाग्यशाली मान्थे । घर पुगेर हस्याङ्गफस्याङ्ग गर्दै गृहकार्य गर्नमा तम्सिन्थे, यहाँसम्म कि खाजा खान सम्म वास्ता गर्दैनथे । कसैले केहि नभनी गृहकार्य गर्न तम्सेको देखेपछि ममिले पढ्ने सामाग्रीको जोहोको लख स्वत काट्नुहुन्थ्यो । उहाँले पनि कहिलेकाँही स्कुलबाट केहि पुस्तक ल्याईदिनुहुन्थ्यो, धेरै जसो कथाका किताब । अनि फोहोर नपार्ने, अरुलाई नबाँड्ने, नच्यात्ने, नकेर्ने लगायतका र्शतसहित । शर्तको सूचि लामो भए पनि मेरो पुस्तकमोहको सामु त्यो मेरोलागि पहाड जस्तो पनि थिएन । पछि छिमेकका दिदिहरु कलेज जान थालेपछि उहाँहरुको कोर्सका र कोर्सबाहिरका पुस्तक मगाएर पढ्थेँ, उहाँहरुको नियमको सूचि त झनै ममिको भन्दा लामो हुन्थ्यो, अनि भनेको समयमा फिर्ता नगरे जरिवाना शूल्क लाग्ने सहित गरेर । यो बेलामा मन, मुलकबाहिर, बसाइँ लगायतका पुस्तक पढेको थिएँ ।

कक्षा ८ मा थिएँ, विज्ञान पढाउने सर आउनुभएको थिएन, त्यसैले खालि थियो तेस्रो पिरियड । बिहान रेडियोमा सुनेको समाचार अत्यन्तै रोचक लागेको थियो, त्यसैले सुनाउँदैथिए म साथिहरुलाई कसरी तत्कालिन प्रतिपक्षि दलका नेता माधव कुमार नेपालले पेट्रोलियम पदार्थको मूल्यवृद्धिको विरोधमा प्रधानमन्त्रीलाई ज्ञापनपत्र वुझाउन साइकलमा सवार भएर गएको कुरा । मेरा साथिहरु निकै टक लगाएर सुन्दैथिएँ  । त्यतिकैमा मे रातोपिरो भएँ, प्राचार्य सर हातमा खिरिले लठ्ठी लिएर । पिटाई खाइनेमा हामी आश्वस्त नै थियौँ, साथैमा भनाई पनि । उहाँले पिटाईसगँै भन्नुभयो, “अहिलेलाई आफ्नै चिन्ता गरोैँ हजुर, देशको लागि प्रधानमन्त्री छन्, नाथे ८ कक्षाकोले किन देशको चिन्ता होला” । मुटुमा विझेको थियो सरको त्यो वाक्य । यो घटनाको करीब एक वर्ष पछाडि म कक्षा ९ मा हुँदा ताका ढाकाराम ठुलोबाकोमा हिमाल पाक्षिक पत्रिका आउँथ्यो । असोज १८को  लगत्तैको पत्रिका थियो, आवरणमा तत्कालिन राजा ज्ञानेन्द्रको तस्वीर भएको । समाचारमा भन्दा विश्लेषणमा मेरो रुचि बढ्न थालेको थियो अनि असोज १८ को भित्री कथा जान्ने उत्सुकताले किनेको थिएँ पत्रिका । त्रैमासिक परिक्षा चल्दै गरेकी छोरीको हातमा यस्तो पुस्तक देखेपछि बाबा रिसाउनुभएको थियो, हाललाई आफ्नै किताब तिर ध्यान दिम, अरुतिर ध्यान दिनलाई पुरै जिन्दगी छ । त्यती भनेर उहाँले हिमाल मेरो हातबाट लग्दा म भने मुर्तीजस्तै उभीएको थिएँ । एस.एल.सीको परिक्षा सकेर स्याङ्गजाको सदरमुकामबाट घर फर्कीदाँ मेरो कोठामा थिए केहि थान पुस्तक, पोखराबाट मगाईएका कोर्सका पुस्तक पो रहेछन्, त्यो पनि १०+२ का । आश्चर्यचकित मुद्रामा बुबालाई सोधेँ, “कसको हुन् यतिका नयाँ पुस्तक” । जवाफमा मेरा लागि रहेछ भनेर थाहा पाउँदा अचम्म मानेँ । अनि मलाई नसोधी कसले निर्णय ग¥यो मेरो पढाईको भनेर सोध्न मैले केही सेकेन्ड पनि कुरिन । विज्ञान लगायतमा खास रुची नराख्ने र अंग्रेजी राम्रै भएको लगायतका तथ्यलाई आधार मान्दै मेजर अंग्रेजीको निर्णय लिईएको सुनीरहँदा म भने कोर्समा नै साहित्य पढ्न पाइन्छ भनेर प्रफुल्लीत भाको थिएँ ।

http://canvassnap.blogspot.com/2013/05/book.html

स्नातक दोस्रो वर्षको परिक्षा सकेको रात म पढ्ने कुरा नभेटेर रातभरी निदाउन सकिन । परिक्षा हुनेबेलासम्म भने परिक्षा सक्नु पाए त मस्त निदाउँथे भन्ने थियो, तर परिक्षा सकेपछि पनि म निदाउन सकिन । विचित्र नै रहेच पढ्ने बानि पनि । जबजब म जोड्छु एउटा प्रसँगमा अर्को प्रसगँ,  साथीहरु भन्छन् “फेरी सुरु भयो तेरो कथा हैन, कति हो के कथा पनि, तेरो कथा सकिने दिन कस्तो होला” । मेरो कथा सकिने दिन त म कल्पना पनि गर्न सक्दिन । मेरो जिवनमा कथाको अनुपस्थिति भए म कति अधुृरो र रित्तो हुनेछु, सोच्दा पनि डर लाग्छ । कथाले जोडेको छ मलाई, मैले जोडेको छु कथा । मसगँ जिवित छन् कति कथा र कति कथाकै कारण जिवित छु म । मेरा सम्पुर्ण कथाको समाप्ती अर्थात सिंगो मेरो समाप्ती ।